Afraid of being human

Here we are again, on the hunt for the most useless first-world-problem we can find. 
 
Maybe it’s a generation’s thing. The generation unproductive, the generation inactive, sitting in front of their smartphones and forget about life in general.
This describes my life better than it should. I am the person who has to force herself to stop checking other people’s facebook statues by deleting the app. And most of the time I’m annoyed by those statues and as a result I am annoyed of myself for wanting to read those brain destroying thought of other people. 
 
But that leads us to the main problem of my short existence. I am afraid of being a human being (does this even make any sense?)

I am that one person reading about all the thoughts of the so called normal person and shaking my head about their bloody human thoughts, knowing that if I had those thoughts I rather drown my phone in the toilette than posting them online. (This counts double because my phone is brand new and purple! Hello, it’s purple!!!) 
My inability to act as a normal human is getting so ridiculous that if I get drunk, I am not ashamed the next morning for singing 20 terrible songs (happened) or for falling flat on my face (happened) or for powersliding through a crowd of people because I slipped on a beer puddle (happened). No, I am ashamed if I told people my inner thoughts. That doesn’t even contain embarrassing “I still love you” to silly ex-boyfriends, but it starts with telling friends I feel like crap from time to time as well as telling people I would like us to be friends. I mean not that there weren’t enough really embarrassing things happening to people at parties like that guy that couldn’t keep his pants up (buy a belt!) or the girl telling 20 strangers that that one guy stood her up. Well then why am I embarrassed about talking to people that I normally wouldn’t talk to?

I am on the hunt for the solution for my own first-world-problem. If I found one, I’ll let the world know. Until then, I’ll probably get weirder by the second.

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